


merry and bright

by lutzaussi



Category: Naruto
Genre: 5+1 Things, Christmas Parties, Drunken Kissing, Kissing, M/M, Mistletoe, idiots being idiots
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-22
Updated: 2017-12-22
Packaged: 2019-02-10 20:51:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,465
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12920010
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lutzaussi/pseuds/lutzaussi
Summary: Iruka doesn't even know why he bothers going to Christmas parties, at this point.(or, five times Kakashi kissed Iruka, and one time Iruka beat him to the punch)





	merry and bright

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Unseelieknight](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Unseelieknight/gifts).



1.

Iruka is standing in the doorway that heads into Anko’s kitchen. He did have a cup of very alcoholic cider but it’s gone somewhere, and he mostly just wants to leave. Anko’s winter parties are always a big deal, but this particular year it seems like the entire shinobi population of Konoha has wandered through her oversized house. To get to the kitchen in the first place he had to pass through a throng of grinding Jounin.

It’s not something he wishes to repeat, and he’s really considering body-flickering out of the house while he still has the self-awareness to make it home without dying. Anko won’t even notice he’s gone; she’s been doing body shots off Gai with Ibiki for the past hour.

He does have the wherewithal to find a glass and get some non-alcoholic liquids in his body. Namely, water, and then some of the cranberry juice that Anko always keeps in her fridge because she is literally an old person. Back at the door, with a little more awareness, he looks up and finds Hatake Kakashi stumbling toward him with a pained look on his face. Fuck’s sake, the guy just got back from a mission that morning,  _ why _ did he feel the need to show up for Anko’s party?

He moves aside so that Kakashi can imitate him, and watches as the jounin downs two glasses of water in quick succession, somehow keeping his mask on and also not falling over. True master of multitasking.

Iruka is having a hard time keeping his thoughts straight, especially when Kakashi wobbles back over to him, braces himself upright with a hand on the doorframe. They’re weirdly close, and while Iruka isn’t complaining it’s also just bizarre. Kakashi looks him up and down, then his eyes flit up to the lintel.

Without much grace or warning, he tugs his mask down, giving Iruka a full five seconds to appreciate how pretty he is. And then, Iruka suddenly gets very well-acquainted with that face as Kakashi gives him the sloppiest kiss he’s ever received in his life.

The man pulls back, tugs his mask up and claps Iruka on the shoulder before wandering back into the thick of the party.

Only when Iruka is safe in his own (locked and well-guarded and trapped) apartment does he realize, faintly, that he’d been standing under the mistletoe.

 

2.

The upside of the chuunin party is that Anko isn’t there, but the downside is that Izumo and Kotetsu are there and one, if not both of them, spiked the punch bowl. Suzume has had one drink and is already crying, but Iruka technically can’t leave because he has to help with cleanup after they’re done.

Honestly, he’s the one doing most of the cleanup because Izumo is drunk and passed out under one of the tables by the time they do get done. It’s the middle of the night, and the only thing keeping Iruka going is that it’s snowing outside and he doesn’t have work the next day. Mizuki deigns to help him but leaves before putting the tables away. Even with a couple of clones it’s annoying work, and it’s with great satisfaction that he finally gets to lock the room they used up and shove Izumo off on Kotetsu.

He pauses for a moment at the doorway of the second floor of the Tower, adjusts his coat and looks out on Konoha. The sky is light with clouds, despite the late hour, and snow is beginning to fall again after a break. He sighs heavily, and looks down the staircase as he hears footfalls.

Hatake Kakashi appears from the staircase, looking worse for wear, presumably from a mission. Iruka freezes on sight; it’s been two days since the disaster at Anko’s (which, thankfully, nobody else knows about) and he hasn’t seen Kakashi in that time.

The man wearily acknowledges him with a head nod, moves to continue up the staircase when he pauses.

Again, he moves in close, but this time it’s with the speed and finesse that his drunk self lacked. Iruka isn’t really aware of what is happening until Kakashi’s lips are against his and--fucks sake, yeah the kiss is decent but  _ why is it happening? _

Kakashi doesn’t say anything, just mock-salutes him after pulling back and continues on his way.

Did--did someone stick a sign on him saying “Kiss Me”? Is he actually hallucinating the entire thing? Is Kakashi on drugs of some sort? Everything becomes crystal clear when he eventually unfreezes. Adjusting his hat is more to calm himself than anything else, and that’s when he sees it nailed to the doorway, directly over his head.

Goddamn mistletoe, again?

 

3.

The students are officially let out for winter break a week and a half before Christmas. They have a full month away from school, and Iruka desperately needs that time to relax. He has a trip to an onsen out of the village planned and only two more parties alongside a handful of mission desk shifts to survive through, one of them the school party and the other a get together Asuma is having.

The school party comes first, and no matter how well they prepare for it nobody is really ready. Mostly because it involves children and sugary foods, which is something they actively try to keep separate every other day of the year. Iruka wasn’t forced to sign up to help with anything other than set-up, so it’s with absolute relief that he ducks out as the first parents start actually collecting their children.

Being out of the general vicinity of the Academy and the Tower does wonders, not just because of the children, though that does play a part. No, it’s because he wants to avoid seeing Hatake Kakashi again, if possible until the holidays are over and he’s back to normal life. God, he misses normal life.

It’s late enough that not too many people are still in the streets, and it’s actually beginning to get cold which works to cut that number further. He’s still out for one reason--there is no food left in his kitchen, because he’d been waiting to get paid. Few days are better than payday, in Iruka’s humble opinion.

The grocer’s is quiet, the butcher’s more so. Of course, that is to be expected that late in the day but he’s still relieved by it; one last stop at the specialty tea shop, and he can go home.

Kaoru, who owns the tea shop, is still working when he lets himself in. It’s the only place in the Land of Fire that sells houjicha, his favorite type of tea, and Kaoru is always a joy to talk to.

“You came just in time,” she says, as soon as she looks up from weighing out barley kernels. “I’m putting in an order for next year; want anything special?”

“Getting high-grade matcha?” he asks. She rolls her eyes.

“Of course; you want me to get some lesser grade for you to teach those brats of yours chado?” she flips open a notebook with one hand and scrawls something down, her other hand still weighing out barley.

“Yes, Suzume will need some as well, so put some down for her, too,” he says, poking around the shelves. He needs new mugs.

Kaoru makes a sound of affirmation, and finishes with the barley. “I’ll get your houjicha, give me a minute,” she disappears into the back, and Iruka continues looking around the shelves. The bell on the door tinkles as someone else enters, says a quiet, “Excuse me.”

Iruka ignores them, slowly makes his way around the shop and finally chooses a couple chawan and some mugs that complement the tea set he already owns. Anko has the annoying tendency to break them.

He takes long enough choosing them that the other person is leaving when he gets up to the counter to buy his tea and teaware. 

It’s snowing again when he steps out of the shop. Damn it, should have left his scarf on. He stays under the overhang of the building to put said article of clothing on, and starts when someone approaches. Lord, it’s just someone going into the shop. His vacation time can’t come soon enough.

But the hair on the back of his neck is still standing up, and not due to the cold. He can feel eyes on him, and he has the chance to glance up and see the branch of mistletoe that is tied to the eaves before Hatake Kakashi swoops out of nowhere and plants one right on his lips.

 

4.

Two is coincidence but three--three is not. Maybe the universe is conspiring to have Iruka lose his mind via intimacy from Kakashi. Maybe he’s actually being stalked, except why the hell would Hatake Kakashi stalk him? Iruka will grudgingly admit he is a rather interesting person, but good lord if you want interesting stalk Anko or Ibiki. Or Gai.

He’s at the Academy to help clean up the classrooms before the entire building is boarded up, and he actually feels free, as if the specter of Kakashi is no longer looming over him.

Oh, who is he kidding, he hasn’t stopped feeling as if something terrible is going to happen since the tea shop.

It’s a relatively easy job, at least for Iruka, because he makes it habit to keep his classroom clean. His class is made up of generally clean children, as well, though Tenten has a habit of leaving a trail of weapons wherever she goes. In any case, he’s done quick enough to help Suzume with her classroom and get his desk in the teachers’ room cleaned up and organized.

When they’re all finally,  _ finally _ done, Yasuhiro-san, the principal, cajoles them into letting her take all of them out for dinner. Iruka is not one to say no to free food, especially when it’s all you can eat barbeque from Yakiniku, so even though he’s had a feeling of impending doom he tags along. It’s well worth it just for the food, but then Suzume convinces him to go with them to one of the quieter bars, and that is a couple of the best hours that Iruka has spent with his fellow teachers ever.

It’s so disarming of an experience that Iruka drops his guard. But, well, nothing bad seems like it’s going to happen.

He’s fucking  _ wrong _ .

It’s when he’s waiting for Suzume and Ebisu to get their coats. He’s standing with Ayame, one of the other teachers, outside the bar in the street. There’s a good foot of snow with more coming down, and finally he tells Ayame that he’s going to go drag the others out so they can leave.

He doesn’t even make it to the coat room; he gets to the doorway of it and is grabbed out of nowhere, pulled into a kiss that tastes a lot like expensive plum wine, and then dropped on the floor.

From his vantage point there, he can see the mistletoe tacked to the doorframe, and the retreating form of one wobbling drunk Hatake Kakashi.

 

5.

He has a week until he’s leaving the village when he arrives at the mission desk, and for fuck’s sake he is counting down the  _ seconds _ .

It doesn’t help that Anko insists on dragging him out nearly every night to a different bar. He’s running on adrenaline and coffee at this point, which probably isn’t a good thing when his fight or flight kicks in if he happens to see someone with silver hair.

As revenge for Anko keeping him out every night he arrives at her apartment at seven in the morning, two hours before his shift starts, and drags her out for breakfast. 

“Ibiki’s living with me for a while,” Anko says, apropos of nothing as they get coffee and she begins systematically dumping sugar into it. “His house burned down thanks to some kid using katon.”

“Mm,” Iruka doesn’t really feel like a person yet, so he doesn’t try to say anything.

“His cats are staying over, too,” she slugs back half of the coffee, lays her head on her arms. “They’re so looooooud, ‘ruka, I don’t know how he lives with them all the time. I bet they’re worse than ninken.”

Iruka’s brain grasps the word ‘ninken’ and plays six degrees of separation and finds ‘Kakashi’ on the first degree. Fuck. Why does his mind always go to that?

He imitates Anko, lays his head down on the table.

Breakfast is short because they’re both ravenous, and when they’re done Anko drags him back to meet the cats, babbling about the trip she’s going to take with Ibiki to visit his brother over the new year.

The black cat makes a break for it when Anko opens the door of the apartment, and once she’s out the grey and white one follows at a breakneck pace. Through hand-signs they each split off after one of the cats, and Iruka finally catches the black one at the end of the hall. Anko is nowhere in sight, having sped down the stairs to get the other one.

Iruka returns the cat, and once he’s sure that Anko has the other one and is not going to make the same mistake again (namely, leaving the door wide open), he heads down the stairs, hoping to fit a shower in before his shift.

His thoughts are still on the cats and the fact that Ibiki’s house burned down as he heads to the door of the jounin apartments. He’s contemplating body-flickering when he sees the sprig of mistletoe taped to the door, but it’s already too late. Hatake Kakashi is pushing his way in at the same time that Iruka approaches the door.

He stops, stock-still, and stares at Kakashi. The man looks him up and down, the raking of his eyes making Iruka’s face apparently light on fire, then shrugs and grabs him. Kakashi dips him, but it’s not like the last time at the bar. This time he keeps a solid grip on Iruka’s lower back as he snogs the breath out of him. It’s not like he is keeping score or anything (no, he definitely is) but kiss five is the best out of all of them.

But. What the fuck, it’s  _ still happening _ and Iruka’s going to lose his goddamn mind if he doesn’t get to the bottom of this.

 

+1

Iruka’s making his way back from the desk’s break room with a fresh cup of tea and a pile of papers that need to be filed. He pauses at the window of the filing room, hands the stack over to the yawning chuunin sitting there. Why they’re pulling the usual all-night hours at this time of year, he has no idea.

He cuts through the coat room on his way back to the desk, but while in there he hears something that makes him pause. It isn’t uncommon for him to hear other shinobi talking about him--not since he made Hiruzen loudly regret allow him to work at the desk by setting Asuma on fire after one too many shitty reports--but he recognizes the voices. It’s Gai and--Kakashi?

It’s a moment of weakness, but Iruka doesn’t really care. He scoots closer to the door that opens out to the hall and listens in.

“--is this why you left in such a hurry from the celebration at Anko’s?” Gai is actually talking in a quiet tone, without his usual plethora of colorful adjectives. If Iruka wasn’t invested in what he was saying, he’d be comatose with shock.

“And why I was late to the bar, and why I left you in the middle of that challenge,” shit, Kakashi sounds  _ desperate _ . Their voices get softer, than louder.

“And you do not know how to approach him in any situation other than mistletoe,” Iruka can all but see Gai with a hand on his chin, nodding. “Have you attempted to speak to him?”

“Gai,” Kakashi’s voice turns exasperated, “I can’t just go  _ talk _ to him, I’ve randomly kissed him five times, now, he probably thinks I’m a--a pervert, or a stalker or something.”

“I’m pretty sure most of Konoha thinks that,” Gai says, and there’s a groan followed by a quiet chuckle. “My esteemed rival, if he hasn’t understood your intentions by this point, I recommend telling him. Umino-sensei has enough on his mind without trying to parse your subtleties.”

“I’m not you, Gai.”

“Well, maybe you should at least try to be more like me,” Gai’s voice is genial, but prodding. His tone returns to the usual, over the top Gai that Iruka is used to with his next sentence, “And, my dear rival, if you do not I am sure Mitarashi-san would be interested in the interactions you’ve been having with her younger brother.”

“Mother _ fuck _ ,” Kakashi says, vehement, and the two of them disappear with the tell-tale pops of body flickers.

What the  _ fucking hell _ is going on. Iruka needs to sit down--no, Iruka needs a drink. In lieu of anything alcoholic, he gulps down his still-scalding tea and sits on one of the stools in the small room. Fucking hell, how is he going to make it through his shift?

The answer to that is through sheer fucking will, because the instant he gets home he dissolves into hysterical laughter, to the point of literal sobbing. God, this needs to  _ end _ .

He waits until the next day. The next day being Asuma’s smaller get together. It isn’t as large a gathering as Anko’s, but Iruka has no doubt that Kakashi will be invited and Gai will make him show up. Iruka reminds himself to thank Gai, at some point in the future.

Iruka gets to the Sarutobi compound earlier than the party’s start, in part because he wants to help, and in part because he wants to see Satomi and Yuuka, Asuma’s older sisters. It isn’t often that he gets to catch up with them, and by the time Asuma drags him away from them the party is well in swing. A quick scan of the rooms tells him that Kakashi is currently standing against a wall looking like he wants to die.

Next he seeks out Anko, who is carrying two drinks and is probably already drunk thanks to her tendency for pre-gaming. One of the drinks--shochu, from the smell--he grabs and throws back. There is a lot of respect in Anko’s expression when she takes the cup back.

“I’m going to do something really stupid,” Iruka says, and she claps him on the back.

“Godspeed, little bro,” she says, and salutes him as he starts making his way through the crowd.

Kakashi apparently noticed him, because he’s looking more and more terrified the closer Iruka gets. But he also apparently has accepted his fate because he doesn’t move, except for scooting closer to the wall.

“I have a question, Hatake-san,” Iruka says, once he’s near enough that only Kakashi can hear him.

“Hm?” that catches him a little off guard.

“Did you know that that’s there?” Iruka asks, pointing at the rope of mistletoe that has been hung a couple inches from the wall, down from the ceiling so the clusters of white berries hang free.

Kakashi looks up in utter confusion, and Iruka is the one to pull him forward, tug his mask down, and kiss him.

 

+bonus

Iruka’s done with his final mission desk shift before leaving Konoha when Gai stops by the mission room, picking up a scroll for an overnighter about an hour away from Konoha. He brightens when he sees Iruka, and when Iruka leaves the mission room to head home he’s waiting outside the building.

“I hear you are the one who set my rival straight, Umino-sensei,” Gai says in lieu of a welcome, clapping Iruka vigorously on the shoulder.

“Iruka is fine. And, uh, in a sense,” Iruka says, “I did want to thank you. Um, I overheard your discussion with him in the Tower. A couple days ago.”

Gai laughs, the sound filling the hall as they walk. “I am sorry you did. Kakashi needs quite the push to do anything. Though I hear he didn’t have to do much of anything, in the end.”

Iruka affords him a snort, searches through his pockets rapidly. “As I said, I wanted to thank you,” he hands the jounin a pile of vouchers to the new curry place in the village.

“Oooooo! Many thanks, Iruka,” the green-clothed man eagerly takes the vouchers, actually shakes Iruka’s hand. “Enjoy your trip!”

“I will!” Iruka waves him off, smiling.


End file.
